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VALENTINE FEVER GRIP NIGERIANS

By Niyi Tabiti
Chief Reporter

It is just 2 days to the much talked about Valentine’s Day. Lovers out there are getting prepared for a super date. To a lot of youth, they are very much concerned about what to say, what to write, where to go and what to wear. Some people believe that sex should top their agenda. Take it or leave it, more sexual activities tend to take place on that day than any other day. I once asked myself if February 14 is actually a Val day or Sex day? (Help me out here) .
I don’t believe sex is a do or die affair.A 29 year old 'macho' guy once collapsed in my area after having sex with a 'tiny' babe who is just 18.The guy was rushed to the hospital.Till now,people still make reference to that episode.All the guys have deserted the girl.
Believe me, it is a wonderful experience doing it with someone you truly love but it is not all that a relationship entails. Personally, I appreciate ‘just the two of us’ kind of a thing…you know, gisting and laughing without anyone there.Hmmm… I appreciate cards a lot. I still have cards that friends gave to me many years back. In Lagos, love is in the air. Everywhere you go, you will see the sign.
I went to eat at Tantalizers today and I overheard this guy. He was trying to impress this ‘chic’ but the babe kept going off target.
“Baby, you are ferociously sexy” the guy said with so much excitement
“What do you mean by that? Don’t you know that to be ferocious means very wicked or brutal?” the babe asked
“Yes, that is what I mean. You are wickedly sexy!”
“How do you dare say that? If I am wicked, that means I am bad.So, what are you doing with me?”, the girl asked again with spark in her eyes showing that she was not happy.
“Yes, you got it. Baby, you are baaaaaaad!”
“How do you mean?” the girl exclaimed
The young man who is now feeling like a Yankee returnee told the girl “In America, we usually say the opposite. When something is too good, we say, it is damn toooooo baaaaaad.So, baby, you are bad. I repeat you are baaaaad!”
Trust Lagos chic, she started feeling like one Agbani Darego or Halle Berry. I looked at the guy and I knew he was not sincere at all because the babe is so ugly that…
Now, I have solved the problem of what to tell my ‘date’ on Val day. I have retained everything in my brain starting from “Baby, you are ferociously sexy….!”
It is going to be our first date and I am already very naive. Should I ask for a kiss? (Is that not going to make the Val outing remarkable?)
I think omosewa and Linda Ikeji should be able to help me out here because they are the ones that love writing about all this ‘love, love stuff’
Trust me to give you gist on celebrities and their Val outings.

Comments

  1. Lmaoooo, thank you Niyi for making me laugh, almost fell outta my chair. Ferociously sexy ke, morogo!!!

    LOL@ i write about love stuff, emi ke, im gonna go read my blog again...

    Just be yourself jare, the important thing is to have fun and get to know the person. Hopefully the kiss happens naturally, so you dont have to ask. Make sure you're looking extra extra sharp o, we can plan your outfit, lol. And please leave your camera at home, so you can concentrate, you know we babes love 100% attention...

    Have fun!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMAO!
    LMAO!
    LMAO!
    WALAHI I MISS NIAJA DIE!!
    NOT THIS STUPID YANKEE WHERE THE ONLY THING THEY KNOW IS TEDDY BEAR, FLOWERS AND CANDY. I MEAN I LOVE ALL THOSE STUFF 2 BUT COME ON NOWWW. THERE'S THIS ATMOSPHERE U GET IN NAIJA DURING VALS PERIOD, HERE IT FEELS LIKE A REGULAR DAY WELL XCEPT AT NIGHT I GUESS....

    OH ON D SEX BIT, TRUE TALK THO. I REMEMBER WALKIN N2 VICTORIA SECRETS LAST VALENTINE PERIOD AND THIS LADY WAS TRYIN 2 SELL ME THIS RIDICULOUSLY SEXY THING 4 A 100 BUCKS. I CALL IT A THING COS THATS EXACTLY WHAT COMES 2 MIND BECAUSE IT CANT BE WORN 2CE. IT'S LIKE A BOW U WRAP URSELF IN AND LET MR MAN RIP IT OFF WITH JUST ONE PULL. WELL LET ME STOP HERE.
    NEEDLESS 2 SAY I DIDNT BUY IT THO, I MEAN WAT D HELL WAS I USING IT 4?? I WAS SINGLE

    And oh! as 4 d guy that died from having sex with that chick. its a funny story but it may be that something else caused his death. u kno we nigerians are very quick 2 jumping into conclusions and that mindset needs 2 be changed.

    SORRY 4 WRITING IN CAPS :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. which kain derry ask 4 a kiss?? niyi in this day and age...u GO 4 a kiss. u just have 2 know when the time is right.

    ...went back 2 finish reading

    ReplyDelete
  4. @omosewa.I am really going to look my best o.I can't stop laughing when you said i should leave my camera at home.Can I do that?At times,i sleep with my camera beside me...in case,i land somewhere like London or Bahamas in my dream or i even see any celebrity,i have to snap o.I cherich it more than a career.
    Secondly,Omosewa...my car is proving to be stubborn.How do i do it?Do you think taking a cab would be a good idea?Don't you think that would mess the first date up?
    Now, i brush my mouth 3 times daily,in case that natural kiss (abi ki lo pe) happen o!
    @paris.In Nigeria,teddy bear,candy or what do you call it, are totally out of place.Babes prefer you to spoil them with 'effizy'.Most of them will throw ur flower back at u or inside refuse bin.
    Some chics would prefer you taking them to 'amala' joint than giving them flower

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol@ ferosiously sexy. dont use it o abeg...just speak from the heart.

    And about the guy who collapsed after having sex....maybe he has a heart condition and it had nothing to do with the girl! But trust naija pple to be diabolical over every issue. Poor girl! What is she doing with a 29 yr old n e way?

    Nma

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol niyi you are seriously razz. lmao you are tew tew funny. lol lol lol............

    ReplyDelete
  7. niyi what is "ferociously sexy!" that sounds awwful! Please keep blogging and do send a copy of gistmaster when you have print copies;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL, o serious, only bahamas, you shd be reaching Rome too.

    About your car, welllll not to sound too material, lollll.Try to get it fixed. Is it those kurukere yellow and black cabs?? Does Naija have correct cabs now? Im sure she wont mind, its the thought that counts jare, at least its not molue you're both 'gan-ing'(lmao, i crack myself up) there...hehehe

    Make sure you take pics, i wanna see...

    Buhahaha, do you brush with pako too? You know its very effective, lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Valentine'day........ hmmmmmmmmmn......... lover's day.

    E go hard o! *joke* *joke*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Niyi, I reckon you go with the flow with your date. You dont have to ask for a kiss. If the right moment comes up, great, you can take it. I wish you happy val's day and I hope you and your date enjoy yourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  11. ermmmm...gistmaster, so u don dump me already ni yen abi? U're ferociously a playa!

    ReplyDelete
  12. LMAO! You are ferociously funny niyi...haha funny!

    ReplyDelete
  13. wienna,i no dump u o!abeg talk to me and lets hook up or what do you think?
    My date may not have time.she works in a commercial bank and the work is almost 24 hours.Remember,u promised that u won't ask for too much o!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Chei Niyi...you're already 'cheating'. You're ferociously bad!!
    LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Chei!omosewa,i am not cheating o!is there anything bad in having a date with two or three people on val day?there is no string attach o!It is a celebration of love...

    ReplyDelete
  16. LMAOOOOOOO goodness gracious.
    ferocious ti rogo.. kai...

    ReplyDelete

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